Mike and I have never been big spenders or big consumers. We are frugal people. Mike works hard to provide for our family, and we work hard to stretch his income as far as it will go. But somehow we found ourselves surrounded by stuff anyway. Stuff that we thought we might need someday. Or stuff that we'd had forever and couldn't imagine living without. Or just stuff for the sake of stuff. You know how it goes.
One day we decided to get rid of some of that stuff. If we didn't need it, we donated it. If we didn't use it, we sold it. If it was broken or run down, we trashed it. We went room by room, touching everything, deciding it's fate. Now, cleaning out drawers and closets is a pretty regular part of my home keeping routine. But this time was different because the new minimalist Mike was with me (not the old, sentimental, always-prepared eagle scout Mike), so we were merciless. The goal was to get our belongings as close to the bare minimum as we could. We wanted empty drawers and bare closet shelves! We didn't quite get there, but we gave it a really good effort. The thing with minimalism, I've decided, is that it comes in waves. Sometimes we feel the urge to purge, and so we'll work hard for a while. But other times, we are content with our progress and so we'll stop thinking about it for a bit. I feel like we are in a good place right now. We are more deliberate about what we bring in to our home, and more discerning about what we need to keep.
One thing that really spurred me on was the idea that organization and hoarding are two sides of the same coin. I've always thought myself to be an organized person, but when I realized how much time and energy I spent on organizing all of this stuff that I had accumulated and probably didn't really need, I was disappointed. I decided that I'd rather go without those things than spend the time to maintain them. So I did.
For a while, Mike was really into reading minimalist blogs (like
this one), but I feel like they are mostly written by single men in their 20s. It's easy to live that lifestyle when it is just one person in a small apartment. But what about our family of 6? Kids come with so much stuff. It's a constant process to keep their rooms in check. We started with a major clean out, sometimes with their help, sometimes without. I've found that the fewer options they have in the toy closet, the better they play, so I was happy to donate a lot of their toys. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Mike had them each choose one thing from their room every night to give or throw away. It was hard for them in the beginning, but it got easier as the month went on. I think they came to see that they have so much more than they really need, so they were more willing to give some of it up.
I was really surprised one day when I went through Stella's closet with her. She was ruthless. If anything was the slightest bit uncomfortable, or if she didn't absolutely love to wear it, she was happy to let it go. I learned a lot from her that day! I had to stop myself from talking her into keeping a few things.
Our home is not large, and our children's rooms are especially small. For instance, our girls share one tiny dresser, and their closet is the smallest in the house. But I don't think I'd have it any other way. The truth is, kids need very little, especially when it comes to clothes. And the closeness our children share because of their tight quarters is more important to their happiness than any amount of stuff anyway.
Have you ever tried something like this? What has worked for you? Like I said, we still have a ways to go, but this shift has made such a difference to the feeling in our home. Instead of working to accumulate more, we are working to increase our happiness, or to spend more time as a family, or to have more experiences. And to be happy and content with less feels really, really great.
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