happy weekend

It's still too hot out, but my friend, Jill, and I went hiking this week anyway. Is it beautiful here? I don't know. Ask me again when it's not 97 degrees outside. We had a good hike, despite the heat. I like hiking with Jill because she is fun to talk to, but also because she keeps us moving at a fast pace. Sometimes I'm jogging to catch up to her and it feels really good.

We are heading in to our October break this weekend. I can't think of anything better than a week off of school right now! My kids have been working so hard, but they are beat and we all need to catch up on some sleep.

Do you quilt? When Mike and I were in Boston last week, I went quilt fabric shopping with my sister-in-law and her mom. They are highly experienced quilters and I was hoping some of their talent would rub off on me. I bought a little fabric and have been piecing some squares this week, but I must not be precise enough because they are turning out a little wonky. I'll keep at it, and read up on it a little bit, but I'll gladly take any advice you have to give!

One of my favorite quotes from the conference talks I listened to on my runs this week was from Elder Joni L. Koch's talk, Apart, but Still One. He said, "We have no right to portray anybody, including from our Church circle, as a badly finished product! Rather, our words about our fellow beings should reflect our belief in Jesus Christ and His Atonement and that, in Him and through Him, we can always change for the better!" Working on that ...

I hope you have a happy weekend.

to change the world

Life seems particularly tragic right now, doesn't it? As I was settling down to sleep last night, thinking about what happened in Las Vegas and elsewhere, the words of Sister Oscarson's talk from Saturday morning's conference session were ringing in my ear and bringing me comfort.

She said, "An aspect of service for all of us who have watched news of recent events and felt helpless to know what to do ... might actually be right before us. The Savior taught, 'For whosoever will save his life will lose it: and whosever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.' President Thomas S. Monson said of this scripture, 'I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives.'"

Sister Oscarson continued, "It is sometimes easy to miss some of the greatest opportunities to serve others because we are distracted or because we are looking for ambitious ways to change the world and we don't see that some of the most significant needs we can meet are within our own families, among our friends, in our wards, and in our communities. We are touched when we see the suffering and great needs of those halfway around the world but we may fail to see there is a person who needs our friendship sitting next to us in class."

And then she related the story of a woman in the 1990s who, with her daughter, rounded up quilts and drove a truck full of them from London to Kosovo. On her way home, the woman had a distinct impression that said, "What you have done is a very good thing. Now go home, walk across the street, and serve your neighbor."

Sister Oscarson said, "What good does it do to save the world if we neglect the needs of those closest to us?"

And then this, "Changing the world begins with strengthening your own family."

"As you strive to become more like the Savior Jesus Christ and live your covenants, you will continue to be blessed with desires to relieve suffering and help the who are less fortunate. Remember that some of the greatest needs may be those right in front of you. Begin your service in your own homes, with your own families. These are the relationships that can be eternal."

I guess it can all be summed up in that wonderful quote from Mother Teresa--"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

I can't change what happened in Las Vegas, and I can't help rebuild Puerto Rico, but I can love my family more. I can be a better neighbor. I can be more generous in my fast offerings.

You can watch Sister Oscarson's entire talk here.

Sharon Eubank for President

Last Saturday was Women's Conference. Did you watch? Oh, it was good. I found myself feverishly writing notes, especially during Sister Sharon Eubank's talk. She was so fresh and bold and inspiring! I thought I'd share my favorite things she said:

"Each of us needs to be better at articulating the reasons for our faith. Use your voice and your power to articulate what you know and feel. Tell why you believe and what it feels like and if you ever doubted and how you got through it and what Jesus Christ means to you."

"Innovation and creation are spiritual gifts. When we keep our covenants it may make us different from others and our culture and society, but it gives us access to inspiration so we can think of different solutions and different approaches and different applications. We aren't always going to fit in with the world, but being different in positive ways can be a lifeline to other people who are struggling."

"There is an energy that comes from happiness and optimism that doesn't just bless us. It builds everyone around us."

"I appeal to each of you to put yourself in a place where you can feel the generous love God has for you. You cannot put yourself beyond the reach of that love. And when you love Him, you will repent and keep His commandments. And when you keep His commandments, He can use you in His work. His work and glory is the exaltation and eternal life of women and men."

You can watch her entire talk (so good!) here.

charity vs pride

I was studying for my lesson yesterday and came across a talk by President Uchtdorf called "In Praise of Those Who Save." He is referring to those who work to save their marriages and families. I am grateful to have a strong marriage with Mike and a happy family life with our children, but I still found lots of things in his talk that were very helpful.

First, President Uchtdorf says that "strong marriage and family relationships ... require constant, intentional work. The doctrine of eternal families must inspire us to dedicate our best efforts to saving and enriching our marriages and families."

And "no matter how flat your relationship may be at the present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow."

So there is always hope! But adding those pebbles is not easy. It requires us to seek charity. President Uchtdorf says. "Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ. Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle. With it, even families with great challenges succeed."

But sometimes charity is really hard to summon, right? Especially when we are in the middle of an argument. Because "the great enemy of charity is pride. Pride is one of the biggest reasons marriages and families struggle. Pride is short-tempered, unkind, and envious. Pride exaggerates its own strength and ignores the virtues of others. Pride is selfish and easily provoked. Pride assumes evil intent where there is none and hides its own weaknesses behind clever excuses. Pride is cynical, pessimistic, angry, and impatient. Indeed, if charity is the pure love of Christ, then pride is the defining characteristic of Satan. Pride my be a common human failing. But it is not part of our spiritual heritage."

When I read that last paragraph, I realized that when Mike and I have a hard day together, it is almost always because of pride. When we are able to overcome a difficulty together, it is because one of us offered the other charity. So here's to charity! And to offering the people who mean the most to us the best of us.


Have a good week! My kids are scrubbing the basement clean of the filth of summer today. :) I'm not particularly looking forward to the start of the school year, but I am looking forward to having a clean house again.

doctrine vs application

I teach the 14-16 year old girls in my congregation (Mabel included). Just the other day, I sat down to plan our Sunday lessons for the summer and we will be learning about some potentially difficult things-- things like the importance of keeping the law of chastity, temple marriage, and preparing for motherhood. While the world is screaming to these girls that these things are not important, it is my job to tell them otherwise. Sometimes that feels difficult.

I was really glad when my sister steered me toward an article on RubyGirl.org that talked about doctrine versus application. The gist is, if we want our children to learn truth - eternal truth, we must teach them doctrine, not application. For example, if we want our children to keep the law of chastity (a principle), we need to teach them that their body is a temple because it houses their spirit (the doctrine). They need to know the "why" behind the principle, not just how to apply it in their life (in this example, an application could be wearing modest clothing or not watching suggestive media).

The author, Rochelle Tallmadge, says this about doctrine: "Doctrine is truth. But not just any truth. Eternal Truth. Doctrine is things as they WERE, things as they ARE, and things as they really will BE. It doesn't change. Some things are true on this earth, but they aren't TRUTH. ... Doctrine doesn't tell you what to do. It just IS."

About principles, she says, "A principle is the category that falls under doctrine. Many principles peel off of the same doctrine. There aren't that many doctrines, actually. But there are more principles. Like, Keep the Sabbath Day Holy, Pray, Word of Wisdom, Law of Chastity. Those tell us what to do, generally. Those can change. For instance, the Word of Wisdom looked very different for the children of Israel than it does for you and me. Even the Law of Chastity might look different, given the time."

And then, applications. Rochelle says, "After principles come applications. These are the specific ways you live the gospel and practice principles. You may wear a dress that covers your knee, whereas I might have a skirt that stops just above it. You may watch tv on Sunday night, but your best friend does not. Applications are very, very personal. It's up to us to follow the Spirit and make our own choices. And we get in trouble in the church when we try to teach the applications instead of doctrines. That's how the Pharisees and the Sadducees missed the fact that The Messiah was standing right in front of them. They were focused on the applications (and misapplications) of the Law of Moses, not the whole purpose of it: Jesus Christ."

Oh, it's so good. The article is not very long, and I encourage you to read it for yourself. And then talk about it with your children. :) I am grateful for this little refresher course on how to teach children and youth. I want my children to stay true to the doctrine of Jesus Christ more than anything, so I better make sure that they know it, and not just the application of it.

the main thing

I must not have learned this lesson yet, because I keep coming across things that remind me to focus on what is most important in my life and to not worry so much about the rest. I seem to go through waves of feeling like I can handle my load and feeling like it's going to swallow me up. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed and swallowed. In the quiet hours of my Sunday morning yesterday, I sought comfort and inspiration from the keynote address at last week's Women's Conference at BYU. The keynote speech, by Sister Sharon Eubank, was wonderful. But it was in the brief message by President Kevin J. Worthen, President of BYU, given before Sister Eubank spoke that I found what I needed to hear.

He said, "I know life well enough to know that for all of you sooner or later and for most of us multiple times, there are struggles in life. We live in some very challenging times. There is turmoil, lack of civility, our values are under attack and then you add to that the complexities of our own individual lives. And we can feel that we are at war because in one sense, we are at war. In such times I am reminded of advice that was received by Major General Robert Scales . . . in Vietnam . . . his platoon sergeant said, 'Men, in combat, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Otherwise you die.' We can get ourselves caught up in lots of different causes and worries and concerns and in those situations, when everything seems to be swirling around us, what we need to keep in mind is the main thing. What is that main thing? Alma 7:7 records it this way: 'For Behold, I say unto you there be many things to come; and behold, there is one thing which is of more importance than they all--for behold, the time is not far distant that the Redeemer liveth and cometh among his people.'

"That is the main thing. The gospel of Jesus Christ--the good news that as a result of Christ, we can have hope no matter what the situation, we can have help even when we think we are helpless. There is no problem He cannot help us solve as a result of His great sacrifice for us. . . In those moments when life seems to be completely complex and out of control and we have no hope at all, if we will think about Jesus, we will be blessed."

So this week I am going to try to keep the main thing the main thing. I am going to try to let the less important things slide away out of my vision, and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. I will repeat to myself the words "faith and family" when I am feeling overwhelmed. Because my faith and my family are what keep me anchored. When they are my focus, the rest doesn't feel quite so overwhelming or important.


photo from Mabel's incredible Millennial Choir and Orchestra concert last weekend

small and simple ways

A few years ago I felt like I needed to improve my everyday practices of faith--things like reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, and attending the temple. I felt like I needed to obtain good habits in those areas so that I would be prepared for more challenging days ahead. It was a prompting that I couldn't shake, and so I started reading my scriptures everyday. I started reading them with my children. I made a better effort at my prayers, and I attended the temple much more regularly.

Because of this prompting, when Elder L. Whitney Clayton said the following in his talk during General Conference, my spirit recognized it as truth: "When we decide to do 'whatsoever [God] saith unto' us, we earnestly commit to align our everyday behavior with God's will. Such simple acts of faith as studying the scriptures daily, fasting regularly, and praying with real intent deepen our well of spiritual capacity to meet the demands of mortality. Over time, simple habits of belief lead to miraculous results. They transform our faith from a seedling into a dynamic power for good in our lives. Then, when challenges come our way, our rootedness in Christ provides steadfastness for our souls. God shores up our weaknesses, increases our joys, and causes 'all things [to] work together for [our] good.'"

I loved Elder Clayton's talk, Whatsoever He Saith unto You, Do It, and wanted to share my favorite bits here for this week's conference report.

In speaking about simple, daily acts of faith, Elder Clayton said, "I have observed that those who are deliberate about doing the 'small and simple things'--obeying in seemingly little ways--are blessed with faith and strength that go far beyond the actual acts of obedience themselves and, in fact, may seem totally unrelated to them. It may seem hard to draw a connection between the basic daily acts of obedience and solutions to the big, complicated problems we face. But they are related. In my experience, getting the little daily habits of faith right is the single best way to fortify ourselves against the troubles of life, whatever they may be. Small acts of faith, even when they seem insignificant or entirely disconnected from the specific problems that vex us, bless us in all we do."

It reminds me of some of my favorite counsel from the Book of Mormon. The book of Alma, chapter 37 tells of the compass, or Liahona, that was given to the prophet Lehi and his people. This compass showed them the way to go as they traveled through the wilderness, but it only worked if they were living righteously and had faith in God. Verse 40 says, "And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day."

It continues, "Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey; Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions. For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land."

And then my favorite part: "And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise."

I know that it is through those small, simple acts that miracles can occur in my own life. I don't want to be lost in the wilderness, hungry and thirsty for direction. I want to find that land of promise, and I believe that I can if I read my scriptures and say my prayers and do all of the other little things that are asked of me.

Elder Clayton said, "Every day, consciously or otherwise, we all choose 'whom [we] will serve.' We demonstrate our determination to serve the Lord by faithfully engaging in daily acts of devotion. The Lord promises to direct our paths, but for Him to do that, we have to walk, trusting that He knows the way because He is 'the way.'"

We have to walk. I want to walk. And I know that when I do--when I engage in those daily acts of devotion--I am showing Him that I am willing to follow Him.

I think I'll always be grateful for that prompting I received a few years ago to be more solid in my gospel habits. I have been through some challenging days since then, but my faith has been strong and my challenges not as daunting as they otherwise might have been. I am not perfect in my devotion. Some days I don't feel like reading my scriptures or saying my prayers. Some days feel too busy to fit these things in, but when I put them first and do them anyway, it's like my days are lengthened and I have time to accomplish all that is required of me. I can see that when my effort is stronger, my life is happier.

You can listen to, watch, or read all of Elder Clayton's talk here.

some things

We went to the Easter Pageant last night. If you are local and haven't been yet, it is running through Saturday at the Mesa Temple. It is one of our favorite Easter traditions, and portrays the life of the Savior through song, dance, and drama. It is the largest Easter pageant in the world, and I feel really lucky to live so close to it.

Speaking of Easter, my kids and I have been talking more about the Holy week this year. I think it's important that we know what the Savior did during His final week in mortality. The more we know, the more real it will be to us. So we've been taking just a few minutes at dinner to talk about what happened to the Savior each day. And then we've been watching one of the videos highlighting some principles of peace that the Savior taught. These videos are super short, but so relevant to our life today. I really like them.

My favorite quote from General Conference this week is from Mark A. Bragg's talk, Brighter and Brighter Until the Perfect Day. It's a short talk and worth a listen. In it, he said, "May we be strengthened by the light that is available to us through greater participation at church and greater application of gospel principles in our families." I have a testimony of this. I believe that our Heavenly Father wants to bless us with light, and peace, and understanding, and comfort, and everything else that we need, but it takes work on our part. We must make an effort to seek that light. I have found in my own life that as I seek the light through participation at church and application of the gospel in my home, it has come. Little bits of it have consistently come that add up to a bright understanding, which gives me peace and assurance - two things that I really need in this life.

Something that has helped me get through my sewing projects this week: the Escape to the Country Collection on Netflix. The show highlights an area of the English countryside, then shows prospective buyers three adorable properties. It is helping me to fulfill my life-long dream of living in the English countryside in a home full of centuries-old character. Plus, it's British, and I think we can all agree that they make better television. Have you seen it?

I hope your week is going well!

blessings of worship

I read this talk by Bishop Dean M. Davies before church on Sunday, and it made the time I spent at church that day more meaningful. I've been meaning to share it here ever since, but you know, life.

Bishop Davies said, "Sometimes our attendance at meetings and our service in the kingdom may lack the holy element of worship. And without that, we are missing an incomparable spiritual encounter with the infinite--one we are entitled to as children of a loving Heavenly Father. Far from being an accidental, happy occurrence, worship is essential and central to our spiritual life. It is something we should yearn for, seek out, and strive to experience."

And this, "I learned that even if we are exceptional managers of our time, callings, and assignments--even if we check all the boxes on our list of the 'perfect' individual, family, or leader--if we fail to worship our merciful Deliverer, heavenly King, and glorious God, we are missing much of the hoy and peace of the gospel."

His words sank deep into my heart. Has my attendance at church become too normal--a habit that hardly takes my attention? If so, I am missing out some really wonderful feelings and it is time to be more deliberate about my worship.

Bishop Davies then gave some good ideas on how we can improve our worship. He said, "When we worship God, we acknowledge and receive Him with the same reverence as those ancient people of the Americas. We approach Him with incomprehensible feelings of wonder and awe. We marvel in gratitude at the goodness of God. And thus, we acquire hope. We ponder God's word, and that fills our souls with light and truth. We comprehend spiritual vistas that can be seen only through the light of the Holy Ghost. And thus, we acquire faith. As we worship, our souls are refined and we commit to walk in the footsteps of our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ. And from this resolve, we acquire charity. When we worship, our hearts are drawn out in praise to our blessed God morning, noon, and night. When we worship, we open our hearts to the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Our lives become the token and expression of our worship."

And the kicker, "Spiritual experiences have less to do with what is happening around us and everything to do with what is happening within our hearts. It is my witness that true worship will transform ordinary Church meetings into extraordinary spiritual feasts. It will enrich our lives, broaden our understanding, and strengthen our testimonies."

I want that. I am going to try harder.

for teens

Friday night's meeting was broadcast from a chapel in Queen Creek, about 35 minutes from me. But Saturday night's meeting, which was for teenagers and their youth leaders, was live right here in Mesa! Since I was recently asked to serve in the Young Women's organization in my ward, I got to attend Saturday night, too.

Just like Friday night's meeting, Saturday night was very casual and candid, but this one was geared toward teenagers. Here are my notes:

Elder Ballard started the meeting by sharing one word that would change the teens' lives: desire. If they desire to know the mysteries of God, or if they desire to follow Jesus Christ, then like Nephi and like Joseph Smith, they can have their own "sacred grove" experience, which will help them remain true to the teachings of the gospel.

On the proper use of media: Elder Rasband urged the youth to be connected to the church's media sites. He cautioned them to police themselves. The adversary has entered into our personal space through our devices. If we dedicate time to the word of God each day, we will be able to better withstand the offerings of the adversary.

On preparing for a mission: Elder Ballard said that if desire is focused in the right place, it will be easy to stay morally clean and serve a mission. He said that they should do all that they can to prepare, but leave some time for fun, too. Learn to be a hard worker, make prayer more meaningful. For girls (who are not expected to serve missions) listen to the Spirit when deciding whether or not to go. Focus instead on living the way Heavenly Father wants you to live. Don't be nervous to share the gospel, just stand tall. Anxiety can become a problem when we are too anchored in the internet. Learn to talk to people face to face. When you have a question, seek the answer from the Lord before seeking it elsewhere.

On being happy: Elder Robbins said that the more we become like Jesus Christ, the happier we will be. Because He was always serving others, he was always happy, and so can we be. Pray for happiness and for the opportunity to use our talents to serve others. Smile more. It is a choice.

On opposition and peer pressure: Elder Costa said "It is better to prevent than to fix." Choose good friends. If you are with friends and they make bad choices, leave. Don't stay to be a good example. Just leave.

On dating and marriage: Elder Ballard reminded that kids that one date with someone does not make you a couple! Keep yourself pure and clean. Don't let the world dictate how we live. Stay close to your parents. Have fun. Don't do anything to mar the beauty of your spirit. And never, never ask someone on a date through a text message. :)

The overall feeling that I got from both of these meetings was that the answers are always simple. Live the gospel. Be happy. Serve others. If our desire is in the right place, we will already be doing the right things. Don't worry too much, everything will will be ok in the end.

for parents

Sometimes the responsibility of parenting these children feels really heavy and I wonder if I am teaching them everything they need to know. Well, on Friday night, Mike and I attended a special meeting just for parents, held here in the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Elder Ballard and Elder Rasband were in attendance, as well as other general authorities from our church. It was a casual, candid setting and I really enjoyed learning from these men. I promised to share my notes here. I hope you find them as helpful as I did.

On overcoming spiritual apathy: Elder Ballard suggested making prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and family councils a priority. Never allow our love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to be secondary to other things. Don't give ourselves or our children time to become apathetic. Be anxiously engaged in the gospel together.

On social media: Elder Rasband said that we need to strategize. We need to be prayerful and come up with a plan to protect our children from the negative effects of social media. We need to create an environment where our children can come to us with questions. As we answer their questions, we should try to use the Savior's words. We need to set boundaries together on internet/social media use as a family council.

Elder Robbins talked about how unfortunately our children sometimes seek their self worth in the internet. They compare themselves to the perfection they see portrayed there and can feel diminished. He says youth are looking for their identity on the internet, so point them toward family history work. This will help them find their true identity. The more time they spend on the internet, the lower their self worth will be. As parents, we need to help them to not be idle, and to retire early and arise early. Revelation comes best in the early morning hours. Also, Heavenly Father often publicly praised His Son. How often do we do that? We need to catch our children doing good and praise them for it. If we observe them, we can give them a true reflection of who they really are. Make a conscious effort to notice the good. We are their best mirror and can help them recognize their worth. Also, use For the Strength of Youth to plan family home evening lessons.

On pornography: Elder Costa made four good points. 1- Assume they have been exposed to it already. 2- Hold frequent father interviews. Guided by the spirit, ask questions to determine if it is a pattern or just a single incident. 3- Turn on our devices only once our intention is clear. Once you have accomplished your purpose, turn them off again. Don't idly scroll. 4- Have hope. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, anything can be overcome, including pornography.

On preparing for missions: Elder Ballard had some great advice. He said preparation should start early. Make sure our children know our expectations. Know your child's friends. Help them get a job and earn some money so that they know how to work. Help them be responsible for their own things. Teach them to pick up after themselves. Help them to read the Book of Mormon on their own and gain a testimony of it. Sit with your children and have them bear their testimony of Jesus Christ to you. If they can't, or aren't sure of His role in their life, help them to learn about Him. Read Preach My Gospel together. Teach them the value of one soul. Help them to understand what Christ did in Gethsemane for each of us.

I don't remember who said this, but we need to respect our child's agency. We teach them the doctrine, but we have to leave them at the crossroads of decision, trusting that the Holy Ghost will guide them and that they will listen.

words from a prophet

The Sunday school lesson curriculum always references recent General Conference talks. I think if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I love General Conference. Today's lesson (which I didn't end up giving, as I was home sick with a monster sore throat) referred to Elder Vern P. Stanfill's talk, Choose the Light, and Elder L. Whitney Clayton's talk, Choose to Believe, which I summarized here. Both talks were meant to help my students learn to overcome doubt with faith. I love hearing the words of our leaders. I am thankful for the guidance they give us, for the things they teach, and for the love I feel from them. I am thankful to belong to a church that believes in modern day prophets. I can't imagine trying to navigate this life without their direction. I believe it comes from a loving God who wants to help us, and I am thankful for the words they speak, and for the opportunity to read their words again and again.

family

In lieu of a conference report today, I thought I'd share two great quotes about families. This one above is from Elder Maxwell and reminds me of the importance of my role at home. The work I do here is simple and mostly mundane, but it is the most important work of my life.

And if I wasn't already a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I think I'd join just for the visiting teaching program. Every woman in our church is assigned a partner and a few other women to visit and teach. Every month, we are encouraged to visit these sisters in their homes and share a message with them. But it's so much more than that. Friendship and love grows, service is given, and hearts are touched. This month's visiting teaching message included the following quote from Julie B. Beck, the former Relief Society (women's organization) president:

"The creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father's plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family. The fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters. Christ's Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was created for families. This was Christ's doctrine. Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life."

This is it. This is everything. This life at home is the reason I am here. I really believe that! So when I am feeling bogged down, or discouraged, or unappreciated, I am going to come back and reread these quotes. And then I'll get up and get back to work.

For more about the purpose of families, look here.

Pretty graphic from Allison Kimball.


Have a safe Halloween!

christian love and service

Yesterday, I was feeling low. I don't often feel this way, but I was feeling overwhelmed by my heavy load at home while Mike is in school, and by an assignment I have been given at church. Like, so overwhelmed that I almost felt paralyzed and a little panicky and I wanted to cry. This could very well be hormonal. In fact, I am going to blame it on hormones 100%, but that doesn't make it any easier. What does make it easier is the fact that I have a very capable partner in my assignment at church and many women in my neighborhood who are willing to help in that assignment, and that Mike is at least home on the weekends, which eases the burden on me a little. In an effort to feel better, I searched the most recent General Conference addresses to find one that would speak to me and this difficult assignment and time in my life. I found it in Elder Robert D. Hales' talk, "Come, Follow Me" by Practicing Christian Love and Service.

Elder Hales begins by saying, "When the Savior called His disciples to follow Him, they were living the law of Moses, including seeking 'an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,' but the Savior came to fulfill that law with His Atonement. He taught a new doctrine: 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.'

"The disciples were taught to turn from the ways of the natural man to the loving and caring ways of the Savior by replacing contention with forgiveness, kindness, and compassion. The 'new commandment' to 'love one another' was not always easy to keep. When the disciples worried about associating with sinners and certain classes of people, the Savior patiently taught, 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.' Or, as a Book of Mormon prophet explained, 'When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.'

"As the Savior's latter-day disciples, we come unto Him by loving and serving God's children. As we do, we may not be able to avoid tribulation, affliction, and suffering in the flesh, but we will suffer less spiritually. Even in our trials, we can experience joy and peace."

Elder Hales then goes on to talk about how Christian love and service naturally begin in the home. He gives lots of good advice about taking advantage of teaching moments in our own families and reminding us that holding a consistent family home evening, family prayer, and family scripture study can be some of our most impactful Christian service. Maybe I need to recommit to making these practices a priority in my home, even if I'm the only parent here to make them happen. His promise brought me lots of comfort: "The calling to be a parent includes the gift to teach in the ways that are right for you and for your children."

And then he says, "If you are suffering deeply, with others or alone, I urge you to let the Savior be your caregiver. Lean on His ample arm. Accept His assurance. 'I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you,' He promises."

As I fulfill my assignment in the coming weeks, and as I continue to run our home alone while Mike spends long hours at school, I am going to try to remember that it is through Christian love and service that I come to follow Christ. And while that service might be difficult or inconvenient, and most definitely a sacrifice, if I give it with a willing heart, with love for those I serve, I know I will be blessed. And it won't feel like such a sacrifice anymore.


At least my bed is made. It's the first thing I did when I woke up this morning and I already feel a million times better.


Read, watch, or listen to the entire talk here.

connected to heaven

Every week I study a different General Conference talk and then I write about it here in what I call my Conference Report. Before I started doing this, I watched conference, and sometimes I would even take notes, but I think to really understand the talks and to incorporate the principles they teach into my everyday life, I need to do more than watch or take notes. I need to study them. Writing about them helps me internalize their teachings. And all of this makes me happier and more focused on the things that matter most.

So, I hope you don't mind, but here's another installment of my weekly Conference Report.

Elder Juan Uceda tells a story from his time as a missionary in 1977 in Cusco, Peru. He and a group of missionaries visited the Machu Picchu ruins. At the end of their visit, some of the missionaries wanted to see the Inca Bridge, which is on a very perilous trail with a 2,000 foot drop down to the river below. Elder Uceda had a strong impression from the Spirit that they should not visit the bridge, but after some persuasion from the other missionaries, he ignored the prompting and off they went. The group of missionaries were ahead of him on the trail, all except one missionary who had received a prompting to stay behind and let Elder Uceda go ahead of him. As Elder Uceda hurried to catch up to the group, he stepped onto what he thought was a patch of greenery, but there was no solid ground beneath. He started to fall, desperately grabbing onto branches as he hung, 2,000 feet above the river. He immediately cried out to God, asking for help. The missionary who had stayed behind was there in a moment to help pull him to safety.

Elder Uceda was ashamed that he had not listened to the voice of the Spirit when it told him not to visit the Inca Bridge, but as soon as he called out to God, God listened to him and saved him.

He says, "At the very moment we say. 'Father in Heaven,' He hears our prayers and is sensitive to us and our needs. And so His eyes and His ears are now connected to you. He reads our minds, and He feels our hearts. You cannot hide anything from Him. Now, the wonderful thing is that He will see you with eyes of love and mercy--love and mercy that we cannot fully understand. But love and mercy are with Him the very moment you say, 'Father in Heaven.'

"So a moment of prayer is a very, very sacred moment. He is not one to say, 'No, I will not listen to you now because you only come to me when you are in trouble.' Only men do that. He is not one to say, 'Oh, you cannot imagine how busy I am now.' Only men say that."

Elder Uceda asks, "When you pray, are you really praying, or just saying prayers?"

I've pondered that question all week as I have knelt to say my prayers. Am I really praying? I know that when we pray to Heavenly Father, we can be connected to heaven, but only if we come to Him with a sincere heart, with real intent, and with faith in Jesus Christ. When I do this, I feel God's love for me more fully, and His peace washes over me.

Read, watch, or listen to the entire talk here.

five things

Oh, this weekend! I feel like I'm all filled up with goodness and inspiration, and now I need to go back over my notes and study the messages I heard, so that I can make them part of me and determine what adjustments I need to make.

If I believe that there is a prophet on the earth today, who teaches us the things that our Heavenly Father wants us to know right now (and I do, with all my heart), then I better know what he told us during this conference. So, I'll kick off a new season of conference reports with President Monson's message.

He only spoke for a few minutes, but he admonished us to do five things:

Do more than just believe in Jesus Christ, but work to know Him. Learn about Him the scriptures and through prayer. And use His power to repent and improve.

Know God's laws and follow them. This is the only way to true happiness.

Live the truth.

Share the truth.

And take care of our bodies and minds by living the Word of Wisdom.

These sound so simple, and they are, but each require a great effort. I am thankful for the words of the prophet. They give me guidance and direction. I know that if I work to improve in these five areas, then I will have greater happiness in my life.

You can watch President Monson's talk here, or read a summary here. (The text isn't available quite yet.)


Mike tried his hand at Stella's hair during conference. I had to snap a picture. I know he was being silly, but I think it actually looks quite pretty. For a #dadbraid. :)

happy weekend

I think one of the best things about being in first grade is that you don't mind homework yet. At least Elliot doesn't. He happily races through it each night, although he's usually doing it in the car when we're picking Mabel up from her bus, not at the kitchen table. The school year is coming along well. Everyone has settled in and they seem to be happy and thriving, even Mabel, who is at a big, scary high school and Mike, who is completely up to his eyeballs in school work.

Hey! It's one of my favorite weekends of the whole year! Not only is the weather feeling more "fallish" (If you can call 92 degrees fallish, which you totally can if you live in Arizona.), but it's General Conference! That means it's time to stay home in our pjs, eat cinnamon rolls, and listen to the leaders of our church share really inspiring and uplifting messages. The things I hear this weekend will buoy me up until the next conference in April. I know that if I am ready to listen with my heart, I will find the answers and assurances that I seek. I can't wait.

To get a feel for what general conference is like, here are a few highlights from the last conference:

You can see where and when to watch here. Have a cozy, happy weekend!

no neutral ground

Did you watch Women's Conference on Saturday? Oh, it was so great! While I'm still thinking about what I heard there, I wanted to share an article I came across on lds.org entitled, "No Neutral Ground: How Media Influences Us, by Aysia Tan.

My favorite quote is from Susanna Wesley, in 1775, to her son, John, a founder of Methodism. She so very wisely counseled, "Would you judge the lawfulness or unlawfulness of pleasure, [of the innocence of malignity of actions? Take this rule.] Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind; that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

Yes! That is it! That is everything! Different media affects people differently. What Susanna Wesley would say is "sin" for me, might not be for you. But if this life is about overcoming the "natural man," then we need to recognize "whatever increases the strength and authority of [our] body over [our] mind" and stay away from it.

And this: C.S. Lewis said, "Our leisure, even our play, is a matter of serious concern. There is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counterclaimed by Satan."

We need to actively surround ourselves with uplifting media. The article states, "Perhaps a television show or book series we once enjoyed has declined on the morality scale but we find it hard to give up, or perhaps a new movie is particularly popular or enticing and we see no harm in watching it. However, giving in just a little makes it easier to give in a little more down the road until we have given ourselves over to indulgences from which we find it difficult to bring ourselves back. But by setting standards for ourselves to allow only wholesome media into our lives, we allow ourselves to be more receptive to the Spirit."

The takeaway for me is to be better at recognizing what things (shows or blogs or instagram accounts, even) take off my "relish of spiritual things." And then I need to make better, conscious choices about what media I allow into my brain.

I am hopeful that these quotes instigate some good discussion at Family Home Evening tonight.

Read the entire article here.

I had Oliver snap that photo of me and Stella and Elliot yesterday after church. They participated in the annual Primary Program, and did such a great job saying their parts. It's my favorite Sunday of the whole year!

fishing

One of my favorite paragraphs from The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." I thought it was interesting that in Dr. Sax's book, The Collapse of Parenting, he talked about how important it is to have fun with your kids, too.

With that in mind, when Elliot asked to go fishing Friday night right before bedtime, we said okay.

Elliot has only been fishing a few times in his life, and he has caught a fish almost every time. So we are either giving him completely unrealistic expectations, or he is just really lucky.

The whole outing only took about half an hour that night, but the time we spent there on the canal as a family is something I'll always remember. I know that wholesome recreational activities can bind us together and promote a family culture that makes us stronger, happier, and more committed to each other. 

kindness

We don't put a lot of emphasis on a school year theme at our house, but I like to choose one, anyway. It's nice to have it plastered on the door to the garage so we see it a million times a day. I hope that even though we don't talk a lot about it, the messages we have chosen each year are making an impact on our children.

This year's theme is "kindness begins with me." I chose this as my own personal New Year's resolution (I wrote a post about it here), and now I want to extend it to the rest of my family. My children are bright. I don't worry about their academic success, but I do worry about their quality of their characters. More than smart children, I want kind children. And so, this year, every time we step into the kitchen, we will see the words "kindness begins with me" staring back at us.

Stella is going to teach our family home evening lesson about the parable of the Good Samaritan tonight. I think it will be a good introduction to our theme.

I will share this quote from our previous prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley: "There is no end to the good we can do, to the influence we can have with others. Let us not dwell on the critical or the negative. Let us pray for strength; let us pray for capacity and desire to assist others. Let us radiate the light of the gospel at all times and in all places, that the Spirit of the Redeemer may radiate from us."

It's easy to get caught up in our own stuff--our own fears, our own responsibilities, our own desires, etc. I want my children to look beyond their small selves and see people around them who might need help, or a smile, or a kind word. I know that when I make a greater effort to do this myself, I am happier. Those fears and heavy responsibilities fade. My desires become less important. I am more content and more at peace. I want this for my children, too.


Quote from President Hinckley's talk here.