Wednesday, August 21, 2013

on change

I have a hard time with change. Goodness, don't we all?

I remember when I was pregnant with Elliot, Mike changed all of the lightbulbs in our house to the energy efficient coil kind and I almost cried. The light was different and I couldn't come to terms with it.

Last week, we chopped down a tree in our front yard. 30 years of growth disappeared in less than 3 minutes at the hands of a rowdy chain saw. My grief completely caught me off guard. As soon as the tree was gone, I missed it and felt like we had made a huge mistake. Who cuts down a mature shade tree in the middle of summer in this blasted desert?! The worst part was that our pretty wisteria that thrived in the shade of that tree started to dwindle. I have pruned it and given it a few deep soaks, but I am left hoping for the best.

The thing is, our yard will be better off without that tree. Our house is so much brighter inside with it gone. Our basement bedrooms don't even feel like they are in the basement anymore! But those good things might mean the end of my beloved wisteria. And I have to be ok with that.

pinned, but the originating link is missing

That's the trick, right? Focusing our energy on building the new, instead of lamenting the old. I might need this pinned to my shirt for a bit. Or for the rest of my life. Is this something that ever becomes easy?

p.s. We kept our other humongous pecan tree, so we aren't totally nuts.


  1. I did the same thing when my hubby changed the light bulbs in our home...and I wasn't even pregnant!

    This is beautiful...thanks for sharing. : )

  2. Such a timely post for me. I am in mourning as I change callings at church. From one organization that I deeply love to one that is very much out of my comfort zone. I am going to print this quote and post it where I am reminded to put some effort into "building" a love for this new adventure!

  3. I find that quote to be true for me in this season of my life as well, but in a different way. We live nine months of the year in rural Alaska, so August means saying goodbye to everyone we love in Washington, and departing for the new school year in our village. I have found that if I focus on what I'm missing, I'm a wreck. But if I focus instead on building our life here in Alaska, I am much better off.

  4. toni and i have the opposite problem: we change too much. we need stability! but i'm kinda scared of it. scared, but also so excited by the idea of just being in one place/country/continent for more than a year. we'll see...!

  5. I feel that way when I have to throw out old plastic containers. I have Abbie come do it for me while I am not looking.

  6. yes Steph change is hard. Something we alll need to cope with. In time we get used to what we have changed and it does happen. You are so good at looking at the positive.
    Love and Hugs

  7. you're last line is hilarious, "We'r not totally nuts!" Get it? pecan trees. nuts.

    I crack myself up sometimes.

    I loved that quote, focusing energy on the future is difficult for me!

  8. i think this is my favorite post you've ever written. thanks, steph. love you so much!


Hello! Thank you for your comment. I'd love to respond, and it is much easier if your account is linked to your email address. Or, you could just email me at Thank you!