The hardest period I've experienced during my time as a mother was when Mabel was a toddler. (I think I've talked about this before.) It was just the two of us, all day long, with no where to go, and no money to spend. All we had was time, and far too much of it. I remember waking up in the morning, seeing the day stretching before me and wondering what in the world the two of us were going to do to fill the hours until Mike got home from work. We went for lots of walks, and played at the park, and read books and books and books. I enjoyed our days together, but they were long and hard.
This morning, about ten years later, it was just me and Elliot. The other kids were at school, Mike was at work, and we had hours to fill, just the two of us. But instead of feeling like a burden, they felt like a gift. I did my housework, he watched a show. Then we baked a batch of cookies and headed to the park to sit in the sun and kick our soccer ball. After lunch we read a stack of books ten high.
It's funny how our perspective can change. I guess I've learned to hang on, to know that every phase ends eventually, and to enjoy each phase as it comes. My time with toddler Mabel ended when I gave birth to baby Oliver, and with his arrival, the hours weren't quite so difficult to fill. And so on and so on. We're in a good spot right now, though. Actually, I would be just fine if the hours slowed down for the next little bit.
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I felt the same way when my first was a baby & toddler. I was so nervous to have a second, but once he was born I was relieved at how useful I suddenly felt. Our third feels like a breeze. I wouldn't say my days are easy or smooth yet, but I do definitely cherish my one-on-one time with each of the kids now, and I am so much better at slowing down when that comes along. Laundry can (and often does!) wait; the days are long but the years are so very quick!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way with my first two, I felt so trapped at home...and the days felt so long. With my third (and last) I feel like each day at home is a gift. I am truly contented to be at home with her- the days do not stretch the way they used two with the other two. I think it has little to do with the kids or their personalities, but more to do with how I have changed and grown as a person/mother.
ReplyDeleteMy first would wake up at 5:00 a.m. We'd nurse, then go to the nearest 24hr grocery store, sometimes just to stroll the aisles, buying nothing. On days when I did buy something, the cashier would say, "Your Momma got you up THIS EARLY to shop?" "Uh..no, actually. It was the other way around." hahahaha... It was worth the 2-hour nap that followed!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Stephanie! I look back on the days with Isaac at home and then the others and think of how I looked to fill the days, and then at some point it started working the opposite as they grew-I looked on how to UNfill the days. I looked forward to milestones and them "getting bigger" and now I want the milestones (sometimes not always) to come at a slower pace and them all to stay small longer. We all just grow as mothers don't we? Right along with the kids.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I can relate as my youngest (now 2 1/2) and I go about our days. I just enjoy them. Thanks again for your email response today.
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