saying no to screens

The other day Elliot was begging and begging to watch a show on the iPad. I said no. And no. And no. And guess what? He didn't die. :) Actually, just a few minutes after his hopes of screen time were dashed, I found him on the kitchen floor happily making a welcome home banner for our girls who had been in Utah, all by himself, completely of his own accord. And then I knew that I needed to write this down so that next time he begs for a show, I can remember that saying no isn't the end of the world and that most likely, within moments, he will have found something (usually much more creative) to do with himself. I know this. But sometimes it's easy to forget.

Sort of related: I am back to using my iPhone. I need to tell you all about it.

powerful nurturing

In Sacrament meeting yesterday, one of the speakers quoted from Julie B. Beck's 2005 article, Powerful Nurturing. I loved the quote so much that I went home from church and looked up the whole thing. Because school starts soon, and because I need a little reminder about why family dinners are so important, I'd like to share the article here for my weekly conference report.

Basically, the gist of the article is that women and mothers are "primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." (From the Proclamation on the Family) And to nurture means to "feed, foster, care for, or rear." So, as the woman and mother in my home, it is my job to feed my family. But it turns out that feeding my family can be about so much more than the food!

Sister Beck says, "As a young mother I did not fully understand my power as a nurturer. Though we were a busy family, I considered everyone's presence at dinnertime nonnegotiable. It was our most consistent gathering time, and everyone planned to eat together before going on to other activities. I learned of the influence of my nurturing when our youngest daughter wrote in a college paper: 'Dinner in our home was not just an eating ritual, but a special time for the family to communicate and to share our thoughts and stories of the day. ... We often sat together for over an hour as we savored the conversation as much as the food.'

"I thought I was just cooking casseroles and soup. But I had created the venue, the reason to gather. Because I prepared a meal to share with my family, something special happened. ... Mothers who are 'primarily responsible for the nurture of their children,' can be a powerful force for strengthening families when they use mealtimes to gather loved ones. They follow the example of the Savior to calm, teach, and help their families remember important things as they feed, cultivate, educate, and rear at the consecrated tables in their homes."

I'm not sure what our dinner routine will look like this new school year. Last year, we ate at 4:30 every afternoon. But I do know that sitting down together and eating as a family every night is one of the best things I can do for my children, and is worth whatever sacrifice we have to make for it to happen. As my children have grown, our dinner time experience has changed. I feel like it just keeps getting better and better, and hopefully more of the teaching that Sister Beck mentions will begin to take place.

Read the entire (really short!) article here.

an immersion program

I was reading Sister Durham's recent general conference address, A Child's Guiding Gift, and wanted to study more about an idea she introduced. About teaching our children how to recognize the Spirit, she shared this quote: "Many teachers of foreign languages believe that children learn a language best in 'immersion programs,' in which they are surrounded by other speakers of the language and called upon to speak it themselves. They learn not just to say words, but to speak fluently and even to think in the new language. The [best] 'immersion' setting for a spiritual education is in the home, where spiritual principles can form the basis for daily living."

This idea was new to me, but it made so much sense! The language of the Spirit can feel foreign, and teaching my children how to recognize it is something I'd like to be better at. So I turned to the article from which Sister Durham quoted and I'd like to share it here for my weekly conference report.

Terry and Susan Warner have some great ideas on how to help our children recognize the spirit in their article, Helping Children Hear the Still, Small Voice. But first, they say that parents need to begin with themselves: "In order to make our homes immersion settings for spiritual education, we as parents would be wise to start with ourselves. Some of us may have difficulty teaching about the Spirit because we find it hard to recognize our own spiritual feelings. We may mistakenly be looking for momentous manifestations, but spiritual experiences are more likely to come as a quiet assurance, a burning in the bosom (see D&C 9:8), or an impression that silently prompts us to act or holds us back from acting. . . As we cultivate the Spirit in our own hearts, we become more able to teach, to reach other hearts by the Spirit."

Brother and Sister Warner then go on to give six specific ways to help children learn to recognize, seek, and be guided by their own spiritual feelings. Things like helping them learn to pray, teaching the gospel at their level, and talking to them at every opportunity (something I really need to work on!). They also give some ideas of family activities that invite the Spirit, like family scripture study, attending church meetings, and singing. I found their entire article so helpful and encourage you to read it for yourself.

Recognizing the Spirit is one of the most critical things I want my children to learn, and our home is the best setting for this instruction. I know I can be better at this. I have to be better at this! If my children can be fluent in the language of the Spirit, they will be better able to heed its righteous influence. Providing opportunities for them to feel the Spirit should be one of my top priorities.

Read the entire article here.

family council

Our family councils usually look something like this: everyone in their pjs, gathered in the living room, right before family prayer.

Yesterday, I taught my Sunday school lesson about participating in councils in the church, which reminded me of M. Russell Ballard's Conference talk, Family Councils, which I spent some time studying during my lesson preparation. There are some really great things in it, which I'd forgotten about. I wanted to share my favorites here:

Elder Ballard promises: "A family council, when conducted with love and with Christlike attributes, will counter the impact of modern technology that often distracts us from spending quality time with each other and also tends to bring evil right into our homes."

What a promise! And here I am, stressing out about technology and social media and worrying about its effects on my family. Well, it looks like I should stop worrying and start holding more family councils. :)

But what is a family council? Elder Ballard describes four different kinds of family councils in his talk, but they can all be summed up in this statement: "Family councils . . . are primarily a meeting at which parents listen--to each other and to their children." He talks in more detail about what councils are here, if you are interested, but what really hit me was this:

"There was a time when the walls of our homes provided all the defense we needed against outside intrusions and influences. We locked the doors, closed the windows; we shut the gates; and we felt safe, secure, and protected in our own little refuge from the outside world.

"Those days are now gone. The physical walls, doors, fences, and gates of our homes cannot prevent unseen invasion from the internet, the Wi-Fi, the mobile phones, the networks. They can penetrate our homes with just a few clicks and keystrokes.

"Fortunately, the Lord has provided a way to counter the invasion of negative technology that can distract us from spending quality time with each other. He has done this by providing the council system to strengthen, protect, safeguard, and nurture our most precious relationships.

"Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them, and the family council can provide a time during which family members can learn to understand and love one another.

"Inviting the Lord to be part of our family council through prayer will improve our relationships with each other. We can, with Heavenly Father and our Savior's help, become more patient, thoughtful, helpful, forgiving, and understanding as we pray for help. With Their help, we can make our homes a little bit of heaven here on earth."

Since last conference, Mike and I have tried to hold family councils more often, and I can tell you that what Elder Ballard says is true. I have felt the difference in my own home and family. Some of the best time I've spent with my family in recent months has been during a family council. Rereading this talk was a good reminder to make them a priority.

Read, watch, or listen to the entire talk here.
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happy weekend

Summer break starts today! Yay! These kids worked really hard this school year, and we are excited to take a break from the hustle of the daily routine. I thought I was definitely going to sleep in this morning, but my eyes popped open at 6:00 on the dot, just like they always do.

I've had two thoughts about summer break and I want to write them down so I hold myself accountable. They are:

I'd like the kids (with my help) to make our big meal each day. During the summer, lunch is our big meal. At the beginning of the week, we'll sit down together and decide what they'd like to make. Everyone will have an assigned day. We will look for a recipe, make a shopping list, and go to the store together. Some of them (Mabel) are very excited about this. Cooking with my kids has never been easy for me, but I think it will be very beneficial, so I am going to try my hardest to be patient. Hopefully they will learn some skills and become a little more comfortable and independent in the kitchen.

Second, I sort of want to throw all of our devices/computer away for the summer. I've learned from my friend Sarah that it's easier that way. I'm not ready to make them disappear completely, but I'd like to lay down some rules about their usage. I'm thinking no access at all during the day, and then a little time in the evening as we wind down. I need to give it a little more thought. Like all kids, if I let them, they'd be glued to them all day. And frankly, I would be, too. We're all in this together, and our brains need time to read or think or imagine. Devices get in the way of that.

But first, I'm watching my four nieces and nephews for a week starting tomorrow, so these things will have to wait. I can only handle so much, you know?

Have a happy long weekend!

happy weekend

We enjoyed a few breezy, cool nights this week, surely the last until November. So we stayed up past our bedtime and went outside. Only one more week of school until summer vacation, so we're sort of over bedtime at this point, anyway.

My friend posted a link to this article on Facebook, How I Slowed My Family Down. Like, to the Last Century. My favorite quote: "The 1950s era stands out as the golden age of family life. Of course, the real 1950s had polio and segregation and limited air conditioning. I didn't want to go to the REAL 1950s, I wanted to go to the mythological ones: the ones where kids played outside all day on their own and mom had plenty of time to make delicious, wholesome meals for dinner. Mom also had time to read a book, and have coffee with her friends, and cocktails with her husband. Mom did not race from place to place in her car, shouting, 'Just eat your breakfast in the car! You can change into your uniform later! We're late!'"

Ha! The author talks about a summer where she let her boys just play all day. No appointments. No commitments. No activities. This is how we do summer vacation, too. We don't do a thing. Just lots of time at home together in our pajamas being bored. And then some swimming. It's my favorite, and I can't wait for it to start.

Have a good weekend!

reverence and revelation

I taught sunday school last Sunday to my class of 15 year olds, and my topic was the relationship between reverence and revelation. As part of our lesson, we studied Boyd K. Packer's 1991 address, Reverence Invites Revelation.

I wanted to share a few of my favorite parts. Elder Packer said:

"Inspiration comes more easily in peaceful settings. Such words as quiet, still, peaceable, Comforter abound in the scriptures: 'Be still, and know that I am God.' (Psalm 46:10.) Elijah felt a great wind, an earthquake, a fire. The Lord was not in any of them; then came 'a still small voice.' (1 Kings 19:12.)"

To learn more about revelation, and how we can receive it, I watched this video with my class. We watched it for Family Home Evening last night, too:

Another good thought from Elder Packer:

"No one of us can survive in the world today, much less in what it soon will become, without personal inspiration. The spirit of reverence can and should be evident in every organization in the Church and in the lives of every member. . . While we may not see an immediate, miraculous transformation, as surely as the Lord lives, a quiet one will take place. The spiritual power in the lives of each member and in the Church will increase. The Lord will pour out his Spirit upon us more abundantly. We will be less troubled, less confused. We will find revealed answers to personal and family problems without all the counseling which we seem now to need."

I know that the world can be a noisy place, but when I actively seek quiet time for reflection or study or prayer, I feel the Spirit more. When I am reverent in my thoughts and actions, I am better able to discern and receive revelation. In his talk, Elder Packer likened the noise of the world to the preparations of an attacking commander. He said, "The first order issued by a commander mounting a military invasion is the jamming of the channels of communication of those he intends to conquer." If I am jamming my channel of communication with Heavenly Father with too much noise or too much busyness, how am I going to hear the direction He wants to give me? This talk was a good reminder for me to slow down, to be still, and to listen.


Read the entire talk here.
Photo of the very peaceful and quiet Jardin des Tuileries in Paris a couple weeks ago.

in celebration of women

I love Mother's Day because it is a celebration of all women, whether they have birthed babies or not. I love this quote from Neal A. Maxwell: "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time."

Here's to women everywhere, who are making a difference in their homes and neighborhoods, who are caring for those who need so much care. Good work, women. Keep it up!

I realized long ago that the secret to a happy Mother's Day for me is to keep it business as usual. I don't want breakfast in bed. I don't want gifts. I just want to go about my usual motherly duties, but I try to do it with a heart full of a little more gratitude than usual for the opportunity to mother these special people. It works every time and I ended my day yesterday counting my blessings.

I hope your day was a happy one, too.

on the wise use of time, part 2

As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like one of my biggest challenges is choosing how to spend my time. In this stage of my life, my time is really my own, but sometimes that can feel overwhelming. You know, I could spend all day cleaning my house, or all day exercising, or all day sitting on the couch looking at instagram. But those aren't good ideas, obviously. So how do I manage it? How do I choose what is best?

For this week's Conference Report, I've chosen three really great articles that all touch on aspects of this time management conundrum. I'll just share my favorite parts.

In 2007, then general Relief Society president, Julie B. Beck, gave the memorable talk, "Mothers Who Know". In it she said, "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children--more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all."

Also, "These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most."

In the same general conference, Elder Oaks gave the talk, "Good, Better, Best". Oh, this talk is chalk full of good advice. I had a hard time narrowing it down to just a couple quotes to share here. But these were my favorite: "Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do. As breadwinners, as parents, as Church workers and members, we face many choices on what we will do with our time and other resources. We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."

And, "The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be over scheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children's values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children."

I talked about this last article in a post I wrote called "on the wise use of time" a couple of years ago here, but it's worth another mention. In "A Time to Prepare", Elder Ardern says, "To have the peace the Savior speaks of (see John 14:27), we must devote our time to the things that matter most, and the things of God matter most. As we engage with God in sincere prayer, read and study each day from the scriptures, ponder on what we have read and felt, and then apply and live the lessons learned, we draw nearer to Him. . . We will need to be wise in our judgement to ensure that the scales of time are correctly balanced to include the Lord, family, work, and wholesome recreational activities. As many have already discovered, there is an increase of happiness in life as we use our time to seek after those things that are 'virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy' (Articles of Faith 1:13)."

This is a lot to think about. But this is what I want to remember: I need to do less of the unimportant things, and save my energy for the best things. I have seen that as I put the best things first (things like reading my scriptures, attending the temple, having family home evening and family prayer), I seem to have time for all of the other things I need to do (like housecleaning and laundry and sewing). If I put the best things first, I feel less overwhelmed by my role as wife, mother, and homemaker.

how to have a good weekend

Why can't all weekends be three day weekends? Oh man, this weekend was so, so nice. I am sitting here, trying to figure out what made it feel so special. For my own future reference, this is what I've come up with:

No Obligations - We didn't have anything on our schedule. Aside from Sunday meetings, we didn't have to be anywhere or do anything. The whole weekend was wide open. That doesn't happen very often, but I am going to make more of an effort in the future to give our weekends more downtime.

lots of Family Time - We spent nearly every waking moment together as a family, starting with a Saturday morning tennis session, and including yard work and a sibling sleepover in the girls' room.

not much Computer Time - A few weeks ago, I made a new family rule: no computers on Sundays. I can't tell you what a difference this has made in our home! Instead of being scattered through the house, everyone doing their own thing (whether on a computer or not), everyone seems to stick together on Sundays now. I'll find the kids downstairs playing games together. Or drawing together. Or reading together.

a Date Night - No weekend is complete without a date night. Mike and I had a low-key evening with some mexican food. Setting aside time for the two of us is important for our whole family.

Exercise - We played tennis, we rode bikes, we went for a walk, and we worked together in the yard. Everyday had some sort of physical exercise.

Good Weather - Good weather just makes everything easier. That's all there is to it.

and some Time with Friends, too - Because there wasn't anywhere we had to be, there was time for everyone to play with friends. Oliver ended up at the park with about 15 other kids from our neighborhood for a pick up game of football (and soccer, too, I think). Mabel had a baking session with her bestie. And Stella had a sleepover with her cousin.

I am starting this new week feeling really rested and really calm, and that feels really, really good. (It helps that it's already Tuesday. :) I hope you had a nice weekend, too!

the Family, a Proclamation

We have a humongous copy of The Family: A Proclamation to the World hanging in our house. I hung it in a really prominent place, where we walk by it a million times a day. I did this because I believe that if my family abides by its precepts, we will be happy. And because I want my children to know who they are, where they came from, and what they can do to live a successful, joyful life.

A couple weeks ago, I posted about one of my favorite scriptures, where Lehi is "swallowed up in other things" and so he doesn't notice the filth around him. And last week, I posted Elder Foster's quote that cautions us against letting society "give our family a makeover in the image of the world." If I want my children to know the things I believe about the family, I need to teach them. And The Family: A Proclamation is a great place to start.

One of my favorite parts says, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between a man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

Tonight for Family Home Evening, we'll be reading the Proclamation as a family. I think I'll print a copy for each of my children, and they can highlight their favorite parts. Then we'll talk about them. And then we'll probably eat some cookies. Happy Monday!


You can get a pdf of this large print (20x24) from Mike here.

happy weekend

I'm checking out early this week. I have some sewing to do, and some rocks to spread in our backyard. But before I go kill my back with the wheelbarrow, here are a few links I've seen this week that made a big impact on me--all relating to parenting. I hope you'll find them as helpful as I did.

My sister, Leslie, has always spoken very highly of Dr. Leonard Sax. He has written a few books about parenting. He talks about his latest, "The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups", in the pod cast on KERA's Think, called "Your Friend, Your Kid." I highly recommend listening to this podcast. I agreed with everything Dr. Sax said. A few of my favorite points: parents shouldn't negotiate with their kids, cancel the playdates and schedule time with family instead, and children should not have cell phones. Thank you, Dr. Sax! I can't wait to read his book.

My friend, Sarah, writes at Memories on Cloverlane. I loved her most recent post. She is so wise. In reference to being focused at home, she said, "I have learned I must keep my world very small right now to feel settled and happy." Yes! I totally agree. Keeping the outside world at bay, and far away from the walls of my living room, helps me to keep my focus here at home, where my attention can make a great difference in four very important lives--the lives of my children.

Sarah linked to this article, about a mother, now 90, who raised her nine children (four sets of twins!) back in the 60s. Dr. Sax talked about this idea a bit, too, but I loved that the mother, Vivian, said, "My husband and I had similar values -- we talked a lot about what was best for our children and the decisions we made, we made together. It was never about what we read, what the new research showed, or what other parents were doing. It was about our children and what we thought was best."

And finally, Elder Bradley D. Foster's talk from our last General Conference, entitled, "It's Never Too Early and It's Never Too Late". He said, "In the past, the world competed for our children's energy and time. Today, it fights for their identity and mind. Many loud and prominent voices are trying to define who our children are and what they should believe. We cannot let society give our family a makeover in the image of the world." He then gives counsel on how it is never too late or too early to teach our children--to lead, guide, and walk beside them. I loved his talk and hope you'll take a few minutes to read it.

Mike and I joined with so many wonderful people from our neighborhood this week with candles to light the way home for the Eagar family, as they returned from the viewing of their little girl who passed away last week. It was a really special experience, one that made me really happy to live where we live, and really grateful to know that families can be forever. Then we squished on his bike and rode home.

Have a happy weekend!

swallowed up in other things

detail from Tree of Life by Kazuto Uota

Last week I talked about Lehi's vision of the tree of life. I read an article in this month's Ensign that really struck a chord with me, and when I came across the scripture mentioned in the article during my own reading this week, I knew I needed to explore this idea further.

Lehi's son, Nephi, wanted to know the meaning behind his father's dream, so he prayed to God and asked for understanding. Because of his faith, Nephi was able to see for himself what his father's vision meant. And luckily for us, he recorded it in the Book of Mormon. In 1 Nephi 15:27, Nephi is recounting the meaning of the vision to his brothers. He tells them that the river of water their father saw was "filthiness". But because Lehi's mind was "swallowed up in other things", i.e. getting his family to the tree of life to partake of the fruit, he "beheld not the filthiness of the water". He was so focused on something really good and important that he didn't even notice the filthiness!

Now, I can liken that "filthiness" to lots of things in the world today. The author of the article likened it to pornography. But it could be anything that weakens my spirit or distracts me and my family from our goal of making it to the tree.

Instead of worrying about shielding my family from harmful things (which, of course I should still do as best I can, and which is quite a heavy responsibility), I could focus on filling our time with other, better things. Things like learning the gospel. I know that if I am busy with good things, like reading my scriptures, or visiting a friend in need, or working on a family home evening lesson, I don't have much time to spend on instagram feeling bad about myself. If my son is busy helping others, or spending time with our family, or working in the yard, he won't have much time to surf the internet and perhaps come across something yucky. If I can help my family focus their minds on the gospel, then maybe they won't notice all of the filthiness out there, either.

The author of the article mentioned three areas where her family could improve. I liked her suggestions, so I'll share them here.

First, she wanted her family to increase their own personal scripture study and decrease the "noise" around them. She said, "Like Lehi, our minds must be filled with positive things in order to hear the promptings of the Spirit and to keep us focused on anchoring our family in the gospel."

Second, she wanted to make family scripture study more meaningful. I agree with this one. We are in a good habit of reading our scriptures together every morning, but I think it'd be helpful if we discussed what we were reading more.

Third, she wanted her family to focus more on missionary work. She says, "When we bear testimony, the Spirit testifies that what we are saying is true, and our testimonies grow." This is one reason why I talk about church so much on my blog these days. It helps strengthen my testimony and gives me a deeper conviction that these things are true. And because my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints brings me so much joy, I want to share that joy with as many people as I can.

I know that if I make a better effort to teach my children the gospel, then I can help them better avoid the filthiness. At least that is my hope.


Read the entire article here (it's really short).

for motherhood

Here's the thing about being a mother (and the older my kids get, the more I realize this is true): I have to be my best self or I am failing them. Please don't misunderstand me. This does not mean that I have to be perfect, but I do have to be trying to do the right thing. My children are watching, and what they see me do will form their own habits and beliefs. I believe that life is about shedding my natural tendencies and learning to be more like my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Being a mother helps me to do that, and I am so very thankful for the opportunity. Motherhood stretches and strengthens me. It humbles and teaches me, and it is my highest, most sacred privilege.

for my turn to volunteer

On Fridays, I help in Elliot's class. I look forward to it all week. Because I've always had little kids at home, this is the first time I've been a parent volunteer. I learned long ago that finding a sitter for my babies so that I could help at school wasn't worth the stress, so I've waited. Now it is my turn to be the mom helper and I am grateful for the opportunity. It has been fun to be in his classroom, to see his interaction with the other kids, and to watch his teacher. (I've learned so much! And kindergarten teachers are total heroes.) While part of me wishes that I could have done this for my older children, I know that there is a time and a season for everything, and I don't regret my choice. I am grateful that I listened to the voice that told me it was ok to say no then, and that now it is ok to say yes.

halloween decor

You're going to want to pin this, I'm sure. Ha! Whenever Halloween rolls around, my kids ask me why we don't have any Halloween decorations. Well, the truth is, I don't really like Halloween, and I'd rather save the little bit of holiday decorating energy that I have for Christmas.

But this year, I gave in. Stella and Elliot spent some very happy minutes after school one day crafting some decorations for our porch. Stella's heavily eye-lashed ghost peeking out of the front door is my favorite. And in the desert, when it's still 100 degrees everyday in October, styrofoam pumpkins from the fabric store are the rot-free alternative to the real thing.

The look on Elliot's face when he went outside to check his handiwork was the best. He was grinning from ear to ear and gave me a very enthusiastic thumbs up. I made him recreate it for posterity. :)

Happy Halloween! (Or not. Bah humbug, sheesh.)

life without a smartphone, an update

I'm still chugging along without my smartphone over here. Actually, I wouldn't describe it that way. Thriving without my smartphone is a better way to put it. I kind of feel like I've discovered the secret to living a more fulfilling life. Are you ready for it? Be less connected to social media! At least that's what is working for me. I've always been a homebody and I am really good at living in my own little bubble, but this is taking it to another level. I feel like I'm even less accessible to the world now and I love it. Another plus is that I have more time on my hands. I still check Instagram on our mini iPad, but I check it much less often. I've become more deliberate with how I spend my time online, and that has made such a difference. No more mindlessly scrolling. I am more content, more involved in what is happening in my home, and less hurried. Honestly, I haven't come across one negative since I made the switch.

Something that I really love is that our life is now being documented with high-resolution digital photos instead of blurry, low-def cell snaps. Like this one of me and Elliot in our matching navies before church on Sunday. If I'd had a smartphone, I probably would have posted this photo on Instagram (and then checked it a million times to see who liked it). But you know what? No one cares if Elliot and I were matching on Sunday except me! So, posting it to a social media account felt pretty silly once I thought about it.

If you are tempted to give up your smartphone, even the tiniest bit, I say go for it. You can always switch back if you need to. I don't think you'll regret giving it a try.

My friend, Danyelle, sent me this great article: Why your teenager might be happier without a smartphone. It's worth a read, and the title could very easily be changed to "Why YOU might be happier without a smartphone".

What do you think?

to remember Him

I am excited to get back into my weekly Conference Reports. Just about every Monday, I will post about the conference talk I am studying that week. Ever since I started doing this I have gotten so much more out of these talks. It has become easier to incorporate them into my life, to recognize the changes I need to make, and then to make them. I believe that we have a prophet on the earth who, along with the other leaders of our church, tells us the things our Heavenly Father wants us to know to help us better navigate this life. It seems so logical to me that we would have modern day prophets, just like the prophets spoken of in the Old and New Testaments. As the people in those days needed to hear counsel from Heavenly Father, so do we today. I am grateful that twice a year we get to sit and listen to new counsel. It brings me peace, gives me hope, and always answers my questions or concerns.

One talk that really stood out to me from this most recent Conference was Elder Claudio R. M. Costa's "That They Do Always Remember Him". He said, "I believe that starting a tradition of telling the stories of Jesus to our children and families is a very special way to keep the Sabbath day holy in our homes." This made me reflect on what we do in our home to keep the Sabbath day holy.

We are really good at not shopping on Sunday, and not doing homework or housework. We attend our church meetings, visit family, and try to maintain a quiet, reverent feeling in our home. But are we actively keeping the Sabbath day holy? Is there more that I can do as a mother to make the Sabbath day more fulfilling for my children? The spirit whispered to me that yes, there is more that I can do.

I loved Elder Costa's counsel to share stories of Jesus with our children as a way to better keep the Sabbath day holy. I keep being reminded that the home is where most of the gospel teaching for my children should occur. It is not up to their primary teachers or other church leaders to teach my children these things. It is my job as their mother. The church is there to support what is being taught at home.

So yesterday we tried it out. Instead of just letting my kids while away the hours quietly before church like we usually do, I sat with Elliot and read him stories from the Friend. I watched Bible videos (there is a great app!) with my children about Christ's life. We talked about why Jesus needed to be baptized because soon it will be Stella's turn to be baptized. I felt a better spirit in our home that day. And I hope, like Elder Costa said, we can "create traditions that build faith and testimony and also protect our family."

Read, watch, or listen to the whole talk here.

happy weekend

I am trying really hard to detect any hint of fall here in the desert, but so far no luck. It was sort of crisp a few mornings ago, but that's just not cutting it. So we're heading out of town tomorrow in search of cooler temperatures and maybe even some changing leaves. And this time we're taking the kids! I'll be posting on instagram while we're away, if you want to follow along. We have been looking forward to this trip for months.

The Indie Folk Revival station on Pandora is totally my jam right now and I don't even care if that makes me a hipster wannabe. First Aid Kit is my new favorite.

In other news, it was twenty years ago this week that The Family: A Proclamation to the World was introduced. It is still so relevant! Now, more than ever, actually. We have a humongous copy of it hanging on our wall for good reason. I believe it contains so many important principles and it is my job as a mother to teach them to my children, for the world will try to teach them differently. If they can understand who they are, where they came from, and how to create a happy family (all things contained in the Proclamation), then no matter what comes their way, my children will be ok. I have found this to be true in my own life and I know it can be true in theirs, too.

Because our elementary school is just around the corner, Stella can walk home for lunch if she wants to. Elliot and I loved having her home for a few minutes the other day. She's a homebody and the school day is just so long, you know? It's nice to take a breather at home in the middle of the day. I feel really lucky that this is an option for us.

Well, I'm off to do another load of laundry and pack our suitcases. Have a happy weekend!

a good video to share with your kids

This video teaches kids what to do when they see pornography in a way that they can easily understand. Oh man, it is so important! I love how it explains that feelings of attraction are meant to create and build strong families, and that those feelings should be aimed at real people, not at screens or photos. I'm watching it with my kids when they get home from school today.

Also, check out the highly recommended book Good Pictures Bad Pictures on which the video is based.