happy birthday Mabel!

Not only does Mabel have to put up with these yahoos all of the time, but she has had to put up with having me and Mike as her parents for the past 13 years, too. Despite all of us, she is turning into the best young woman. She is bright and kind and creative. She is helpful and responsible and funny. I am excited about this next phase of teenager-hood because I can see who she is becoming and it makes my heart burst with love and pride. She's going to knock her teen years out of the park.

p.s. How not to ruin your relationship with your teenager.

happy father's day weekend

Motherhood made my world flip upside down and inside out. Mike, on the other hand, entered fatherhood without breaking his stride. It came so naturally to him. One day it was just the two of us, and the next day there were three. I've always admired that about him. He is steady and kind and way more fun than I am. I am so grateful to be parenting by his side.

Every once in a while, Father's Day and Mabel's birthday fall on the same day. This year is one of those years. So, here is a photo of the two people who first made us a family. I love them both and wish them a happy Father's Day and happy birthday on Sunday, respectively.

Have a happy weekend!

sum sum summatime

Well, we've officially reached the point where the heat is only bearable if you are wearing a wet bathing suit. I really really love living in Arizona, but man alive the sun was scorching yesterday. And so we went to the pool. And we got very wet. And we lived to fight another day.

T minus 8 days until the great summer escape of 2015 begins.

keep on trying

I've been privy to some unfair judgments, unsupportive attitudes, and critical comments directed towards others from women whom I love and admire lately. These are natural tendencies we all have and have all been guilty of, I think. But they've come from some surprising sources and in great amounts and have been really weighing me down. Yesterday, as I finished up the last of the camp decorations, I felt inspired to listen to Elder Dale G. Renlund's talk, "Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying." It turns out, it was exactly what I needed to hear, but not what I thought I needed to hear. Funny how that happens.

Nelson Mandela famously said, "I'm no saint--that is, unless you think a saint is someone who keeps on trying." What an encouraging statement! I am definitely not perfect, and yet I call myself a Latter-day Saint. This doesn't mean that I think I've reached some sort of exalted state. In fact, it is just the opposite. It means that I am very much mortal, but that I am hopefully seeking to become better.

Elder Renlund says, "Our theology [teaches us] that we may be perfected by repeatedly and iteratively 'relying wholly upon' the doctrine of Christ: exercising faith in Him, repenting, partaking of the sacrament to renew the covenants and blessings of baptism, and receiving the Holy Ghost as a constant companion to a greater degree. As we do so, we become more like Christ and are able to endure to the end, with all that that entails. In less formal terms, God cares a lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were. He cares that we keep on trying."

Because of Christ's Atonement and God's mercy, we can be changed. If we keep on trying, we can become better.

President Monson taught, "One of God's greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final." Elder Renlund continues, "Even if we've been a conscious, deliberate sinner or have repeatedly faced failure and disappointment, the moment we decide to try again, the Atonement of Christ can help us. And we need to remember that it is not the Holy Ghost that tells us we're so far gone that we might as well give up."

But this is the part that hit me: He says, "Just as God rejoices when we persevere, He is disappointed if we do not recognize that others are trying, too." As a South African sister said, "The Church is like a big hospital, and we are all sick in our own way. We come to church to be helped."

Elder Renlund continues, "We must not only be tolerant while others work on their individual illnesses; we must also be kind, patient, supportive, and understanding. As God encourages us to keep on trying, He expects us to allow others the space to do the same, at their own pace. The Atonement will come into our lives in even greater measure. We will then recognize that regardless of perceived differences, all of us are in need of the same infinite Atonement."

All this time I have been unfairly expecting the women I've been working with to be perfect, while assuming they will be understanding of my own imperfections. I haven't been allowing them the space they need to work on their own illnesses. Ah! What an epiphany! This is what I have learned: I need to be patient with other's efforts, and respectful of their place on their individual road to perfection. And hopefully they will be patient and respectful of mine, too. And oh, how this lesson can be applied to my relationship with my husband and children! Maybe this is the real lesson I need to learn from all of this. Am I expecting perfection when they are trying their best?

Let's all have a good week, ok? Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt, and a little more kindness than we think we deserve. We're all on this journey together, aren't we?


Read, watch, or listen to the entire talk here.

happy weekend

Have you ever listened to the series Gospel Solutions for Families on the Mormon Channel? There's some really great stuff there, but the best thing I've listened to lately has been Marriage Roles Part 1 and Part 2. They are about 30 minutes long, and go way beyond talking about marriage roles. Mostly, they are just full of logical, simple solutions to problems that all marriages face. I really suggest giving them a listen next time you have a load of laundry to fold.

Girl's Camp preparations are moving full speed ahead at our house today. But I promised my kids I'd take a break and take them swimming later this afternoon. We skipped the pool yesterday to give some sunburned cheeks a rest and we were all miserable because of it.

I just had to post this photo of my handsome little dude from last Sunday. He's been wanting a suit to wear to church for forever and we finally found one at Target. When he tried it on, he exclaimed, "Look how cute it is!" I couldn't not buy it. He was beaming (and moving very stiffly) in it all day. Little boys are the best.

Stay cool friends!

a big hole + a hot and happy house

We've had lots of "digging dates" and "digging family home evenings" in the past couple of months. But mostly, Mike has been outside by himself, digging a very large, very deep hole in our backyard. We want our trampoline buried in the ground, and rather than rent a bobcat to get the job done in an afternoon like normal people, Mike decided to dig it himself with a shovel. Slowly, but surely, he made progress, and finally last weekend, we got the base secured in the ground. You might think he's crazy for doing it this way. But, actually, as he explains in his new blog, it makes a lot of sense. And really, I'm so proud of him for making it happen.

Also, why we keep our thermostat set to 84 in the summer.

marriage and family matter

I chose this week's conference report for lots of reasons. The first was that it was Elder L. Tom Perry's final public address before he passed away a couple of weeks ago. Another was because sometimes marriage is hard, and it's nice to remind myself why it is important. And finally, Why Marriage and Family Matter--Everywhere in the World contains one of my most favorite quotes. I'll be sure to share it below.

Elder Perry was a giant of a man. I will miss hearing his enthusiastic talks during General Conference. He was always one of my favorite apostles to listen to. He starts this talk by relating his experience at the Vatican last year. He was there along with leaders from churches all around the world for a colloquium on marriage and family.

Pope Francis opened the conference by saying, "We now live in a culture of the temporary, in which more and more people are simply giving up on marriage as a public commitment. This revolution in manners and morals has often flown the flag of freedom, but in fact it has brought spiritual and material devastation to countless human beings, especially the poorest and most vulnerable. . . It is always they who suffer the most in this crisis."

He continues by saying that it is important that those in the rising generation "do not give themselves over to the poisonous [mentality] of the temporary, but rather be revolutionaries with the courage to seek true and lasting love, going against the common pattern."

Elder Perry said that three days of presentation and discussion followed this opening statement on the subject of marriage and family. The widest variety of religious leaders possible were involved, and all agreed on the importance of this traditional institution. Elder Perry said that there was commonality between them and powerful unity. He said, "During the colloquium, I observed that when various faiths and denominations and religions are united on marriage and family, they are also united on the values and loyalty and commitment which are naturally associated with family units. It was remarkable for me to see how marriage and family-centered priorities cut across and superseded any political, economic, or religious differences. When it comes to love of spouse and hopes, worries, and dreams for children, we are all the same."

But what makes members of the LDS church different? It is our belief in the eternal nature of families. He said, "The entire theology of our restored gospel centers on families and on the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in a premortal life where we all lived as literal spirit children of God our Heavenly Father. We believe that we were, and still are, members of His family.

We believe that marriage and family ties can continue beyond the grave--that marriages performed by those who have the proper authority in His temples will continue to be valid in the world to come. Our marriage ceremonies eliminate the words 'till death do us part' and instead say, 'for time and for all eternity.'

We also believe that strong traditional families are not only the basic units of a stable society, a stable economy, and a stable culture of values--but that they are also the basic units of eternity and of the kingdom and government of God."

Because I have grown up in the LDS faith, I assumed that everyone believed these things. If you belong to a different faith, how does this line up with your beliefs?

And does this idea from New York Times columnist David Brooks ring as true to you as it does to me?: "People are not better off when they are given maximum personal freedom to do what they want. They're better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice--commitments to family, God, craft, and country."

Marriage and family matter. They are still the ideal to the vast majority of people in this world. We are not alone in this belief. Really, it can all be summed up in my favorite quote. Elder Perry said, "Let me close by bearing witness (and my nine decades on this earth fully qualify me to say this) that the older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness."

So I'm going to love my husband and our children a little more. I'm going to be more forgiving of their faults and appreciative of their efforts. This family unit that Mike and I have created is the most important thing we have, and it deserves all of my best energy.


Read, listen to, or watch the full talk here. (I recommend listening to this one. Elder Perry's voice can't be beat.)

happy weekend

There's nothing like having serious deadlines on the horizon to make me decide to paint my family room instead. That's what happened to my week. I painted the family room and I don't love the color, but I guess I'll live with it for a little while. Because maybe it will grow on me and also, I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE PAINTING MY FAMILY ROOM RIGHT NOW! And you know how it goes. You change the wall color and all of a sudden your throw pillows look dated. And so you head to Ikea to look around and you come home with new beds for your girls that you don't really need and that take 14 hours each to assemble. Oh man, I've made a lot of spur of the moment decisions this week (so completely unlike me) and I am sort of wishing I could start from Monday all over again.

I am feeling very discombobulated. But I have promised myself that tomorrow I will get right on those deadlines. And on Monday I will not be crazy, but I will be my normal, non-spur of the moment decision making self. The self that sticks to her cleaning schedule. The self that spends time on the couch with a good book. The self that is content with her 10 year old paint choices.

Sheesh.

p.s. Day one of our summer vacation looked like this ^^. Aack!

summer days

Summer is in full swing over here. While I don't like having commitments during the summer, I do like having a routine. We've fallen into quite a nice one, and it goes something like this:

Mornings are for sleeping in, then errands or jobs or play. Lunch is our main meal, as it is better to use the stove and oven before the heat of the afternoon sets in. After lunch comes my favorite part of the day - quiet time. Everyone finds a book to read while Elliot takes a little nap. Once he's up, we head to the pool. We're usually worn out by the time we get home, so dinner is something light, like a smoothie or cereal or popcorn. I've been letting everyone stay up later than usual. I tell them they can read in their beds for as long as they'd like. Reading in bed late at night is one of my favorite memories from my childhood, and I love that our lazy mornings make this a possibility. We've made sure to stock up on lots of books from the library.

Here's to a low-key, easy summer!

all is well

This past weekend, Mike and I dressed up like pioneers and pushed a handcart through the mountains with a group of teenagers we had never met before. We were asked to be their "ma" and "pa" for the trip. I can't believe I am saying this, but it really was incredible. It was so difficult, but so rewarding, too.

My parents both converted to the LDS church as teenagers, so I don't come from the traditional pioneer stock (those early members of the church who sought refuge from persecution and a place to practice their religion peacefully by traveling 1300 miles on foot through extreme hardship), but I quickly learned that it doesn't matter whether we descend from those pioneers or not. Their experience is something we can all claim and something from which we can all gain.

Because of our experience this weekend, I have chosen President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's address, All is Well for this week's conference address. It is what our stake's pioneer trek was based on, and is full of so many good things we can draw from the pioneers' lives to help us today.

This photo is a little deceiving, because the road we traveled was definitely not all smooth. We climbed mountains with our handcart - rocky, rough, and steep mountains. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But not one of those kids complained about the difficulty of the task. They put their heads down and pulled with all of their might. And with the help of the strong boys in our "family" and a few "angels" along the way, we made it to the top. Like the real pioneers, we worked hard.

President Uchtdorf said, "Today we sometimes struggle in the morning to get out of our soft beds and into the bathroom for a hot shower. We eat a nutritious breakfast and drive in comfortable cars to air conditioned offices. We can learn something from the pioneers. They woke up each morning with clearly defined purposes and goals that everyone understood--to serve God and fellowmen and to arrive in the Salt Lake Valley. Every day those purposes and goals were clear to them; they knew what they needed to do and that each day's progress mattered."

He continues, "In spite of feeling overwhelmed, in spite of many good reasons to become discouraged and disheartened, they did not give up. They could not give up. No matter how difficult, no matter how much they wanted to do something else, they kept their eyes on their goal and on their purpose."

Here is the blessing of hard work: "But the pioneers did not work only because they had to. In the process, their labors enlarged their character and broadened their understanding. Work diminished their natural tendencies toward self-love and magnified their understanding of their divine nature. It heightened their compassion for others. In the labors of each day they discovered and solidified an inner strength and profound spiritual depth. They learned that doing hard things--even applying themselves to the tasks they really did not want to do--deepened and strengthened body, mind, and spirit."

In the midst of these rough roads and hard times, I would look up and see smiles on the kids' faces. I felt myself smiling, too. We were happy. We hardly knew each other, and yet we became a family who worked together and found joy in our journey.

About happiness, President Uchtdorf says this: "It is one of the great ironies of our age that we are blessed with so much and yet we can be so unhappy. The wonders of prosperity and technology overwhelm us and shower us with security, entertainment, instant gratification, and convenience. And yet all around us we see so much unhappiness. . . Those pioneers understood something about happiness. They understood that happiness doesn't come as a result of luck or accident. It most certainly doesn't come from having all of our wishes come true. Happiness doesn't come from external circumstance. It comes from the inside- regardless of what is happening around us."

I know that the pioneers had their trials and we have ours. But acting like a pioneer, just for a minute, helped me to see that I can be strong like they were. I can have the same resolve, and the same goals- to serve God and my fellowmen, and to live so that I can return to Him someday.


Read the whole talk here.